This is a real time story about life and death. And change and choice.
My Mom’s dearest friend made a choice to stop kidney dialysis, starting tomorrow. Most people die within a few weeks once they stop. Big sigh.
He has made the choice to let nature and time take it’s course. No more medical intervention.I wonder what it’s like to ask the question about your own life and death, “What are my choices here?” My dear friend Ron has made that choice.
I called him last night. I told him,
“I’m droppin’ by today just to say thanks. I want you to know that I respect and support your choice. And I love you.”
We cried. We talked about God’s grace and playin’ baseball on the other side. And then I heard him say, “I’m peaceful.” The moment was perfect.
I said goodbye to him and knew I would not talk to him again in this lifetime.
I write a lot about change and choice on this blog and this post is extra special and near to my heart. Ron’s story exemplifies that change is a given, ineluctable even, and choice is an option—in life and death. I think the more we embrace these truths, the better we become at, well… livin’. I figure writing a story about how we deal with change and make choices cannot hurt in the larger world, and might just help.
While riding my horse, Mr. Pi, tonight, I listened to NPR. The story was of John Edwards admitting paternity of his mistress’ daughter. I felt sad for his entire family. I thought of my dear friend Ron. There are good men in this world and it’s unfortunate that men of John Edward’s lack of character get attention. Perhaps Mr. Edwards should take a cue from my friend and start living with integrity and realize that choice is an option.
I love you Ron. Give my sweet Bellah a scratch on the ear when she greets you in the next phase of your journey. My papa will be there too. From what I hear, he was pretty cool. Enjoy a beer together.
The fisherman and I will be joining your family and friends to celebrate your life and death and life again!
I like this song by Billy Currington, “God is great. Beer is good. And people are crazy.” I can’t help but tap my toes when I listen. I’ll think of you whenever I’m tappin’ my toes to this song. Namaste dear friend.
~Melissa
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I can't believe we have even more to talk about, Melissa. But in this moment, I send all blessings and light to you and your loved ones and honor the LightWorker you are always, especially in this situation. I can see you understand very well the honor it is when someone who is dying calls you – and why dying, in many traditions, is indeed a holy passage.
Namaste, blessings
– Lucie
P.S. End-stage renal disease can be very painful physically at times. You may want to have a discussion with Ron about how he'd like to manage that. Of course, you and yours may also want to be mindful at times the pain may do the talking…
Lucie,
Thanks for the kind words and guidance.
Enjoy the weekend!
Melissa
Thanks for always listening, Melissa, and for provoking and evoking – happy weekend! – Lucie
Hi Melissa,
This word…choice…is really jumping out at me here today. Ah…the choices we have. Always. And how often do we hold ourselves back from shining our true colors. Your story of your friend, Ron – is a stark reminder to me that what I have is NOW. And that life is fleeting. You have written this so beautifully, and know that I am touched by what you have shared. May you all find peace in life now, and life everlasting…on the other side…
Your comment made my entire day. Thanks! I love your latest post, "Sunday Thought for the Day." http://www.jungleoflife.com/2010/01/24/sunday-tho...
Enjoy the week~
Melissa
I am very touched by your story. I lost my Mom this past summer. Cancer was discovered at Stage 4 and she was afraid of suffering and was ready to die. My father was not. She complained about our keeping her around, although it was out of our hands. Mom made a choice to take a chemo treatment. Not for herself, as she was certain of her ending, but for her family. My sister and I agree that she wanted to shorten the wait, which it did. She had accepted the change and wanted to make it happen.
My Mom was a brave woman. Your friend is as well. My advice is just to be there, to be present and to assure (as you have) acceptance of his decision.
You are right. We have to chose how to live our lives and how to adapt to change and accept that change is inevitable.
My thoughts are with you.
Inez,
Thank you so much for the kind words! I'm back in MN for Ron's services as I type this. Thanks for sharing the story about your Mom – a brave women as you say.
Namaste friend~
Melissa
Thanks for letting us know Ron has taken his step. How blessed he is to have you holding the light for his easy, joyful transition. May this rich experience be everything you and your mom, as well as Ron, need it to be. My heart and light are with you.
Lucie,
Could you be any cooler? I'm not sure it's humanly possible. ; )
Feelin' the light ~
Melissa
So very kind of you, M, to provide such nurturing esp given your scenario. Continued good thoughts and blessings go with you; from all of us, I'm sure. I'm so glad you all have had this "good-bye" period, intense as it is.
One day it will be interesting to write about why we feel what we feel and experience what we experience, even when we know what we know…? The limitations of the mind, perhaps, though I think you are in the presence of a deeper level of knowing. I leave you to your Peace, there, and look forward to your return when it fits for you/all.