Got Change? 5 Ways to be Intentional

I’m flying back from a trip to Minnesota where I attended the funeral services of a dear family friend who made a choice to stop kidney dialysis two weeks prior. Prior to leaving for my trip to Minnesota, I was N-E-R-V-O-U-S and “emotional.” The fisherman stepped up as he always does – he listened, gathered tissues, and reminded me that it’s ok to be ‘in it.’ Tears were right at the surface – ready, waiting, for any story, song, or cute dog to trigger a nose-blowin’ tear fest.  I knew I wanted to participate in the celebration of Ron’s life and honor his transition into the next phase of his journey. I also wanted to be a source of strength and calm for my Mom, as Ron was her best friend and companion and a big part of our entire family. However, my moxie was nowhere to be found.

Anyway, prior to and during my travels, I pulled out some tools of intention that proved to be useful, helpful, inspirational and applicable to leading change in work + life. I’m pleased as a punch to report that these tools worked and helped me prepare for and be in an emotional and stressful situation with grace and presence. No martinis needed! I”m not much of a drinker, but I understand the power of a good glass of gin.

Normally I wouldn’t tell you about something so personal, but I thought maybe it might be cool to dissect why these tools worked. There are a lot of reasons you’ll find obvious, and there might be a few you didn’t think of.

Whether you’re headed to the boardroom for a big meeting, attending a family event with your loopy relatives (every family has a few), preparing for a job interview, or meeting with your boss to discuss a difficult topic, you might just find these tools of intention useful.

1. Acknowledge that you’re nervous and stressed as hell. Once you do this, you can tap into the tools you need. No acknowledgment; no intention. Here’s how I phrased my acknowledgment. “Oh great universe, I’m scared as hell. Let’s get to work.”
2. Seek out moxie. I knew I needed some full tilt mojo from elsewhere because my moxie river was not flowin’. In addition to the fisherman – my greatest source of strength – I chatted with my horse riding coach, a balanced woman that speaks horse. At 5’5” and 110 lbs, all muscle, she rides BIG horses with delicious beauty. She is one of my best and most trusted friends. I also connected with my acupuncturist. Prior to my trip, she put tiny little beads in my ear that trigger calming. I’m a big fan of medicinal modalities beyond western medicine.  Any who – you know who’s in your circle that can give you moxie. Find them. Talk to them.
3. Mind map your intention. Try this – it works. Really. Ask yourself, “How do I want to be in this situation?” Check out what I came up with. I revisited this mind map often during my trip.
4. Breathe with intention. Breathe in for three seconds; breathe out for five seconds. All through your nose. My acupuncturist told me to do this and as far as I’m concerned, she is a healer. This woman has had profound impact on my health and well-being. She says breathe in for three and breathe out for five – I do it. You can do the 3×5 exercise anytime, anywhere.
5. Be gentle. Stuff happens. Dance with it. Get your mind right. Even with all the intention you muster up, well… things may not turn out as you had hoped or planned. You’re livin’ and learnin’ and stuff happens. Dance with it. Learn from it.

The information and tools shared here dislodged so much of the stupid stuck shit in my brain that I was able to be in this holy occasion exactly how I wanted to be – with intention.

Anyway, yeah. That’s how to be intentional when you’re stressed out. Cool, huh?

How about you? What are your tools of intention?

Cheers~
Melissa

Tagged as: Best Practices, Change Stories, How To, leading change, managing change, personal change, personal stories